Poem: "Re-emerging Selves" -- Grieving Our Lost Selves

My silence pounds walls of repetitive wordings,
living encapsulating in blocks of sound,
flashes of remembering
the unforgotten swirls of past moments –
events and experiences in the “Now”
of my human beingness.
Every object, event, coated
in emotional energy and glistening
with presence and absence – won and lost.
My mind has fashioned,
constructed…
reconstructed…
demolished….
and reconstructed…
so many selves of experience…
into narrow streams of solidified thought….
Dammed by survival…
resisting possible fluidity…
walls of blindness created in desperate silence…
I am….
We are…..
Reemerging…..
from desolation and destruction…..
looking … for what is still hidden…
so deep….
in the presents of the past.

From my Journal: March 5, 2008

Where Do All The Voices Come From -- Grief and Regaining Ourselves

“So what's worse? Too many voices in your head or complete silence?“

This Facebook quote, along with recent writing and listening I have been doing, triggered some powerful new spiritual awakenings and experiences.

First, it is important to realize and experience that these voices are my “lost selves” – parts of me that were disconnected or dissociated from my actual Self in order to emotionally survive the emotional traumas of my life.

There are four awarenesses that I experienced about my inner voices:

1. When I experience confusion, memory losses, and difficulty making decisions, they is caused by being overwhelmed by these voices – lost selves --pressing me with their pain and fear and needs. Imagine being in a shopping mall full of people – at Christmas, and everyone turns and moves toward you – surrounding you --- talking, then yelling, then screaming information, feelings, demands, requestts, etc...... and imagine trying to process and survive the whole experience.

2. The majority of people survive and function within the material world and within relationships by using silence – the absence of consciousness of the voices. By depressing the operation of the neural pathways of the brain, the pirmitive brain instinctively turns off the sound of their voices. And when that doesn’t work, it will exaggerate, dramatize, generally flood the neural pathways with distracting new activity focused at external circumstances and outcomes – thought.

3. My experience is that we do not have the ability to listen, organize, and process their voices, and successfully address the needs that drives these lost selves into frenzied desperation.

4. What I need to do is to allow a simplification to occur – to become as a little child – in the loving, caring , ujnconditional Presence of my God, and to receive gentle guidance -- to help me move through the conscious experience and restoration of these lost selves. For me, my spiritual parents/guides operate through the Presence that resonates in others.

I perceive that the majority of human beings live materially “successful” lives in virtual silence -- not stillness – silence – the forced and constricted absence of sound -- not the quiet and flowing serenity of Presence. I define ‘success” experiencially as the reaching of enough life outcomes to be reasonably satisfied with life – often to notice of others as being accomplished or having “successfully” overcome sizable obstacles to do so. Most often, success, for humans, is perceived as being within the realm of objects and material outcomes, not relationships, closeness, or intimate awakenings.

“Success” in our modern culture typically entails the suppression of these inner voices – lost selves – in order to reach some external outcome. Consequently, I experience that those who our culture venerates with public media attention, as being the most “successful” are also the most unconscious. As I watch them, I experience the feeling that no one is home. I only experience their masks -- hiding deeper and deeply wounded selves.

The efficiency of unconsciousness – the dead and dying selves lie decomposing on the screens of our televisions and cinemas – in our politics, music, and entertainment. I feel sad. So much wonder and beauty of selves lost in the blinding glares of deafening outcomes.

If you are hearing your inner voices, too, and would like some comforting Presence, and direction, try some of these blogs that I have written, and feel free to contact me on Facebook, or by email.

We can all help each be restored to sanity – truer and more complete versions of ourselves. Our lost selves need us to improve our conscious intimate contact with our God so they can come home. We and they do not have to be alone today.

Click here: Finding Daily Inspirations

Returning to the Secret Garden of Lost Selves

Twelve Step Spiritual Life Management

Daily Inspirations Can Change Darkness into Spiritual EnLIGHTenment

Life is difficult – when it is conscious. In the absence of consciousness – without spiritual enlightenment –human beings live in a massive void of darkness, without it ever becoming a major life problem to be dealt with. Normally, one is born, lives 70-80 years, and never really experiences the darkness – unless something or someone in one’s life breaks the seal of the primitive brain, and opens the stored neural darkness to glimmers of light and conscious sensation.

Our Real Enemy
Our real enemy as human beings is not illness, poverty, bondage, or death—but consciousness. We can endure the worst of circumstances and even death – as long as we are not forced to do so consciously. And everything can be going exactly as we think we want it, externally, but if our level of consciousness is too high, we are of all people most miserable. So our brain resists and fights consciousness as if it is death. Actually the fear of death is the fear of consciousness – of ultimate conscious separation and abandonment.

Stay Away From the Light
The problem with consciousness – with the Light coming on inside -- is that it begins to expose the wretched separation and abandonment that is the real human condition on this material plane. We human beings live separated and alone – aching in the shame that something is terribly and horribly wrong with us, and that this is the reason we are so alone -- why no one is there – no one is there inside with us.

iWorld
As a result, our brains have closed our eyes to truth, and created an imaginary world, composed of imaginary people -- where we have a collection of alternating imaginary selves –masked selves – who participate in this imaginary world without having to experience the Darkness -- consciously.

“I Am Not Sick!”
There is a story told about Jesus talking to a group of religious intellectuals of his day. He said to them, “those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.” For years I puzzled his statement. Spiritually, these intellectuals were some of the “sickest” people of the day. Then one day I experienced what he was saying: if a person does not consciously experience that they are sick – or in the Darkness – they have no need for help – or the Light – no matter how sick or how dark their lives are.

The fortunate -- or unfortunate -- few have had some major life event or series of events that shoves them into consciousness of the Darkness – and they have been blinded by the initial light of human consciousness. The result is major conscious bearing pain and fear.

So when this happens, what can we do? How do we learn to live in Light?

Connect with the Light of Presence
Darkness involves our brains blocking out parts of the neural network in order to avoid conscious experience of the absence of higher Presence and of the incredible separation and alienation from ourselves and from others.

First light begins when human life experiences expose these dark areas of the brain to light – human conscious awareness. If higher Presence is not also accessed, the brain will reassert darkness, and the human conscious awareness will fade back into the dark abyss.

Sustained Light begins with the insertion of an emerging spiritual experience of higher Presence, which most frequently begins with the experience, strength, and hope of others. So to begin we need to connect with others, specifically through the experience of daily inspirations. We need to connect with the Light of Presence.

Openings
Daily inspirations are others’ expressed experiences of the Light that has entered and influenced their lives. These expressions are openings for receiving spiritual enlightenment that reconnects us with the Light. I believe that sometimes these expressions were conscious experiences for the author, and sometimes they were expressed in unconsciousness. Ultimately, what I hear and experience is more important than what was said – or meant.

These openings – daily inspirations -- include inspiring life quotes, inspirational readings, spiritual coaching, and the stories and sharings by others of spiritual principles -- their application of spiritual enlightenment.

Connecting with the Light of Presence means to collect and regularly experience those daily inspirations --spiritual openings and resources -- that bring spiritual enlightenment and Presence into our Darkness on a regular basis.

The Light of Presence reveals and heals the Darkness of the past and present – creating openings and opportunities for spiritual enlightenments and a Better Life by Higher Design.

Daily Inspirations Jewelry and Gifts .
Daily Inspirations Readings
Daily Inspirational Clothing, Daily Inspiration Music

Photography/graphics by W. Wass

Elizabeth Wass -- Becoming Acquainted With Grief

Today, January 26, 2010, Liz would have been 52 years old. Today marks the beginning of her final hours.

Five years ago today, we celebrated her 47th birthday at the hospital – 24 hours later she went into a coma induced by the level of pain medication she had to have. The next day, Friday, she was moved to hospice.

Around 2:30 Saturday morning, she went home.

This loss became for me the defining grief experience of my life: the nearly eight years of periodic illness and treatments, and then the final two horrendous years – the pain, the surgeries, and the struggle to survive the inevitable.

I would like to remember this with you as my way of beginning my sharing about grieving and regaining our lost selves. This is my experience, strength, and hope – not my knowledge, intellect, and understanding. It is personal – and it is emotional – and it is healing. To avoid the inevitable pain is to lose so many beautiful parts of our selves. To live and love is to become the best versions of our selves – and it’s definitely worth the price of grief.

Will Wass